BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

Got your attention there didn’t I? No, I haven’t watched the highly publicized movie by Ang Lee. The movie has been making waves in the international film circuit. Everyone waits with bated breath whether the traditionally ultra-conservative judges in the Oscars would hand the gold plated naked guy to Ang Lee. Heath Ledger who played Ennis in the movie was reported to have said he was glad he worked on “Casanova” right after BM because it was “an emotionally heavy movie”.

Casanova will hit our shores soon but I doubt we in Malaysia will see Brokeback Mountain. I think the censors would deem it to be too scandalous for the Malaysian viewers. Whoever has the chance to watch it would probably have watched a bootlegged DVD bought from the black market. I heard it’s already available in Penang! Awww, I so wish to be a Penangite! Heh heh!!

Tony (refer to my ‘Hall of Fame’ entry) sent me a copy of BM by email. Some one took the trouble to type out the book in Word. I was surprised to see that the entire book filled up only 58 pages with double spacing between sentences! It took me all but 15 min to read the entire book. It’s hard to imagine how Ang Lee could stretch the book into a movie running more than a hour.

In the book, the story started slow but the pace picked up almost immediately. I tried to imagine in my mind what the movie would be like. With a flip of a page the years would have leapt by, say, anything between 5 to 20 years!!! I figure that what was in page 13, 14, and 15 would be enough to ban the book in Malaysia, forever!

I think everyone knows what the story is about. The media has written about it so often that even the most intellectually challenged amongst us would have an inkling of what it’s about. Throughout the story, there is a sad and dark undertone. The ending is sad. It tugs at your heart string.

I wonder how many of us would watch the movie if given the chance? I suppose quite a number would watch it simply out of curiosity. Others would be totally repulsed either before watching it, or, I suspect, even after watching it (or during???). I suppose, given the chance, I would watch it. Yes, I am curious but more so, I wanted to know how the man, who gave us Chow Yuen Fatt floating on bamboo shoots, has made the book out to be.

Some things in the book puzzled me. Perhaps the pace was too fast. Perhaps there wasn’t enough “characterization” (I bet Ang Lee would take some time to bring out the characters). For instance, I failed to understand if there were any feelings between the two main characters beyond the obvious physical ones. It started so suddenly (in the book anyway) and ended just as abruptly.

What did I think of the story? At the conclusion of the sad story, I suppose the two men did love/lusted for one another. Some of us would flip in horror at the thought that two men could actually love one another. I wouldn’t. I am not a homophobe. I believe it’s possible. I believe it’s real. It does not mean that I condone their acts. My beliefs say it’s a sin. It’s an “abomination to the Lord”. I do not condemn it either, at least not Jack and Ennis, anyway. I believe it’s a part of the fallen world that we live in.

I believe that a man can love another man deeply. When I was young in my faith, I found it difficult to accept that Jesus, a man, would love me (yes, another man) so deeply that he would sacrifice himself for me. I cringe at the thought that another man loves me. But that is the truth. Indeed, God loves me, so much, so deeply. It’s when I open my heart to the possibility that, yes, indeed, a man can love another man, even deeply; that I began to experience a release and a sense of freedom in my heart.

It is not my intention to preach. Feel free to disagree with me. It is not my intention to court controversy either. No need to fight me on this! Brokeback Mountain is an apt title. Yup, we are all broken people, yearning for love, for companionship, for some one who loves us as we are, who knows out darkest and ugliest secrets and still loves us; some of us find it in the embrace of another woman, others find it in the arms of another man, yet others prefer to shut everyone out, live in solitary misery.

My broken heart found true love in the arms of another Man, Jesus.