LETTING GO

My daughter started year 1 in school on Monday. Last Friday was her "orientation" at her new school. It's an all girls primary school. We decided to enrol her in a national school (much to the displeasure of many concerned friends and relatives who felt that she should be in a chinese school..mainly because it's better). We thought it over carefully, way way back before my kid started kinder and we've decided that the national school is where we should send her.

No doubt, the chinese medium schools have better performance results compared to the national schools. And we lament the fact that national schools nowadays are not the same as the ones we were schooled in. Back in those days, it didn't matter that prayers are not recited in each and every event; it didn't matter that football matches have to be stopped when the call for prayer is broadcasted...look I am not a racist nor am I against any religion. It's just different now.

Finding a school for my kid was an ordeal by itself. The school which is within walking distance from my house had like one chinese student in the entire school the last time we checked! So we had to enrol her in a school across town. On orientation day we counted there were about 13 chinese students, give or take 2, among the year one batch and the others being an almost equal mix of malays and indians. We wanted our kid to be in a school where she can learn to mix with other races and yet have people of her own race to mix with also. Back when I was in primary school, it was just like that (but back then, we had more chinese in the school).

Another reason was that both my wife and I can't read chinese even in order to save our lives! I can speak a bit of mandarin but that's about it. We use English at home. My daughter absolutely hate to learn chinese (not my fault!, we didn't discourage her). So, enrolling her in a chinese school would be quite traumatic to her as well as to us because we would not be able to help her at all with her homework.

And most of all, we just want her to have fun. I had fun in primary school. Great fun in fact. We didn't want her to be stressed up so early in her life. Kids are meant to play. Their work is play. There are many years in the future for later stresses.

And as much as we deplore the state of national school now, we are hopeless optimists. We have hope that the government may finally do things right. The rot has gone on far enough. We hope that our daughter will get a good education, that she will learn to mingle with others not of her own, that she may learn to be tolerant and kind, that she will have fun...GREAT FUN!

And so, on Friday last week, we drove her to her new school. As she sat there in her new uniform and sparkling white shoes waiting for the program to start (which btw started 1 hour late...not a good sign at all!), I couldn't help but feel that I am letting go a part of my life. I am entrusting the education of my kid into the hands of people I don't even know well and I am taking a risk that what she might be taught may not be good.

I can't believe that the little baby I cradled in my arms have now grown into a such a sweet girl, all ready to start school. It's just the first step of letting go. With the years, I know I will have to let go more and more, until someday she is independent and able to be on her own. I have mixed feelings but that's how it will be. My parents let me go...and I turned out ok I think. I just pray she will too.