A Man Who Spoke What's In My Heart

I subscribe emails from a group on Yahoogroups. The owner of the group writes an inspirational email once a week, mainly to encourage us who are Christians on our own personal pilgrimage. Below is his Christmas message:

GRACE@WORK MAIL 51/05
[December 23rd 2005 Edition]


eCOMMENTARY: Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas...

Did you know that:

*Men and women who felt the most loved and supported had
substantially less blockage in their coronary arteries.

*Men and women with heart disease who were single and lacked
confidants were three times as likely to have died after
five years.

*Married men who feel that their wives showed them love had
significantly less angina.

The above findings were quoted by Dean Ornish, Clinical
professor of medicine at the University of California San
Francisco [Dean Ornish, “Love Is Real Medicine” Newsweek
International Edition, October 17 th 2005, 39]. In his
article, Ornish says:

“Medicine today focuses primarily on drugs and surgery,
genes and germs, microbes and molecules. Yet love and
intimacy are at the root of what makes us sick and what
makes us well.
[Therefore] when we understand the connection between how we
live and how long we live, its easier to make different
choices. Instead of viewing the time we spend with friends
and family as luxuries, we can see that these relationships
are among the most powerful determinants of our well being
and survival.”

This seems like a lot of work and a lot of words to confirm
what God had told us a long, long time ago. That it was not
good for man to be alone. [I secretly believe that given
enough time, science will support all that is already in the
bible.]
Which is why Christmas is such a devastating time for many,
especially in countries and societies where Christmas is
also the time for family reunions.

For many, it suddenly hits home that they have no families
to go home to, and the many who do, prefer not to precisely
because they know what is waiting for them at home.

It is truly tragic that humanity pours so much effort and
resources to tackle a myriad of problems but ignore such a
fundamental one -- the loneliness of modern man.
If modern life is characterized primarily by individualism,
competition and isolation, then more and more of us are
going to be sick.

I also suspect there is a more prior and more fundamental
loneliness at work. As James Houston puts it, “If it is true
that God made us for himself, then without God we are bound
to live with an underlying frustration and unhappiness.”

Perhaps one of the reasons we are so frustrated with human
relationships is that we expect our human companions to meet
that need we have for divine companionship and invariably
they fail. We lash out in our frustration and lose even the
human companions we have.

It would seem to make sense then that we address this prior
loneliness apart from which we can never be completely
connected to anyone else.
Jesus said: “Now this is eternal life:that they know you,
the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you sent.” [John
17:3 TNIV]
The only way to cure our basic loneliness is to enter into a
relationship, i.e. know, the living God through Jesus
Christ.
Many do not know God and so loneliness is pandemic
especially at Christmas.
The media recognizes this.

One of my all time favourite X-Files Episode is “How The
Ghosts Stole Christmas” [Season 6, Episode 6]. In this
episode, Ed Asner and Lily Tomlin guest star brilliantly as
two ghosts that appear only on Christmas eve to hammer home
the utter loneliness of human existence to any couple
staying in the house they haunted, thereby driving the
couple to despair and suicide.

Here is the dialogue that introduces the ghosts in question.

Mulder: "Christmas, 1917. It was a time of dark, dark
despair. American soldiers were dying at an ungodly rate in
a war-torn Europe while at home, a deadly strain of the flu
virus attacked young and old alike. Tragedy was a visitor on
every doorstep while a creeping hopelessness set in with
every man, woman and child. It was a time of dark, dark
despair."
Scully: "You said that."
Mulder: "But here at 1501 Larkspur Lane for a pair of
star-crossed lovers tragedy came not from war or pestilence
— not by the boot heel or the bombardier — but by their own
innocent hand."
Scully: "Go on."
Mulder: "His name was Maurice. He was a... a brooding but
heroic young man beloved of Lyda, a sublime beauty with a
light that seemed to follow her wherever she went. They were
likened to two angels descended from heaven whom the gods
could not protect from the horrors being visited upon this
cold, grey earth."
Scully: "And what happened to them?"
Mulder: "Driven by a tragic fear of separation they forged a
lovers' pact, so that they might spend eternity together and
not spend one precious Christmas apart."
Scully: "They killed themselves?"
Mulder: "And their ghosts haunt this house every Christmas
Eve."

[Disclaimer: I don't believe in ghosts as they are usually
portrayed in the entertainment media though I do believe in
evil spirits. Yes, you can delete that email you were about
to send to rebuke my allusion to ghosts.]

The episode also uses the song “Have Yourself A Merry Little
Christmas” to powerful effect. It gets my vote for saddest
song ever, well at least saddest Christmas song.

Christmas is also such a lonely time because the slogans of
the season promise so much yet many of us experience our
lives as being so far removed from what is promised in the
slogans.
This is truly ironic because one of the names of the person
who came at Christmas two thousand years ago is Immanuel,
God with us.

The God of Christmas is not a God who stays far away. This
is a God who knows our need for connecting to Him and to
others. After all he made us. And He does not want us to be
alone. Hence He came to us.
He is indeed knocking on the doors of our hearts.
But we often treat him as some ghostly figure, hoping that
if we ignore Him He will go away.

But Jesus is no ghost. On the contrary, He rose from the
dead to show that He has triumphed over death and despair
and stands ready with the gifts of life and love, knocking.
And if He is not in our lives, we will always be
divine-lonely.

Christians too need to discover and rediscover this truth.
Often we have invited Jesus into our lives but keep Him in
our heads. So many of us live Christian lives defined by
doctrine and activism and wonder why we are as lonely as the
rest of the world.

Why don't we do something radical this Christmas.
Instead of our usual rushing around to the never ending
round of church Christmas activities, why don't we carve out
a quiet moment alone or with a few good friends, and commune
with the God in our hearts.

And instead of badgering our non Christian friends to
another glitzy bells and whistle Christmas evangelistic
programme, why don’t we invite one to a cup of coffee and
ask how they are doing and take the time to listen to the
answers.

Give him or her the gifts of love, hearing, focus, and the
time that makes it happen.
Who knows, he or she may take a second look at the Jesus you
claim dwells in your heart.
Because your friend really isn’t interested in the one that
dwells in the mall.

People are not dying for lack of entertainment,
ecclesiastical or otherwise. They are dying for love.
They need to know His Name is Immanuel.
They need to know Him.


Your brother,
Soo-Inn Tan

Write me!
At: sooinn@graceatwork.org

PS. Advent Greetings!
To all readers of this column, I wish a blessed Christmas!
Thank you for journeying with me through the ecommentaries.
May the reality of God and His love be more real to you this
Christmas and the year ahead!