Suicides
I see at least 2 to 3 patients in my ward EACH day who are admitted for an overdose of this or that substance in an attempt to kill themselves. Of course they were unsuccessful (otherwise, they would be in the morgue instead of my ward). The favourite sunstances ingested are Paracetamol (Panadol), Insecticides, Pesticides, Herbicides, Sleeping tablets, Medications belonging to a close relative, the occasional Chlorox, hair dye, shampoo etc etc.
The story is always the same. The psychiatrists call it a stressor. A nice clinically sterile word to convey "cause of suicide". From my experience, the main stressor is some kind of relationship problem. The stories range from the scolding from a loved one or figure of authority to the love triangle/quadrangle/hexa-angle...whatever, gone wrong. I once attended to a guy whose partner (another guy) was having an affair with A who had an affair with B and C while C secretly loves A. There was also D, E and F all thrown into a very very complicated web of intrigue. The most frequent stressor has to be the betrayal from a spouse or boy/girl friend when their infidelity were discovered.
Other causes include the loss of job, the pressure from loan sharks, overwhelming stress at work, depression...the list is long. But the root is the same. It's a sense of overwhelming loss, of utter abandonment and loneliness. Suicides, not surprisingly, tend to peak in the festive periods. And this Christmas is no exception. There's also the New Year and then the Chinese New Year coming ahead!
Much of the time, when I see them in the ward, I feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. I just don't know how to help them. It would be too physically and emotionally taxing. So, I maintain a clinical distance. Sort out the physical damage done by the substances ingested (for example, panadol in excess of 10 tablet (5 gram) would damage the liver) and leave the psychology part to my fellow colleagues in psychiatry. I know they don't do much either. Much of the time, it a prescription for anti-depressant of some sort is given.
The physical is taken care of. The emotional may be palliated. The spiritual is ignored.
Do I feel for them? God knows I do. I quote the cliche phrase..."Been there, done that". Yes, I do. I understand the tremendous amount of pain and stress that must have driven them to the point where they want to end it all. I have felt that way before. I was "lucky". I have God. I have a brother who quietly sat with me in a car at a parking lot years ago while I poured out my anguish, despair and frustration. I had hit rock bottom.
A lot of people think these people are stupid to attempt to kill themselves. Religion says its a sin. Some times I feel that way too. Sometimes I just want to grab my patients by the arms and shake some senses into them! But until you have been there yourself, you will never understand the utter hopelessness that they feel.
God is good to me. I pray for my patients, may they also find hope in the midst of their despair. May they have some one who could sit there and listen and pray for them. Some one to weather the storm with them. Someone to tell them "it's okay, I am here for you, we will work this through this together". May they find God. After all, when you have hit rock bottom, the only way to go is UP!
I see at least 2 to 3 patients in my ward EACH day who are admitted for an overdose of this or that substance in an attempt to kill themselves. Of course they were unsuccessful (otherwise, they would be in the morgue instead of my ward). The favourite sunstances ingested are Paracetamol (Panadol), Insecticides, Pesticides, Herbicides, Sleeping tablets, Medications belonging to a close relative, the occasional Chlorox, hair dye, shampoo etc etc.
The story is always the same. The psychiatrists call it a stressor. A nice clinically sterile word to convey "cause of suicide". From my experience, the main stressor is some kind of relationship problem. The stories range from the scolding from a loved one or figure of authority to the love triangle/quadrangle/hexa-angle...whatever, gone wrong. I once attended to a guy whose partner (another guy) was having an affair with A who had an affair with B and C while C secretly loves A. There was also D, E and F all thrown into a very very complicated web of intrigue. The most frequent stressor has to be the betrayal from a spouse or boy/girl friend when their infidelity were discovered.
Other causes include the loss of job, the pressure from loan sharks, overwhelming stress at work, depression...the list is long. But the root is the same. It's a sense of overwhelming loss, of utter abandonment and loneliness. Suicides, not surprisingly, tend to peak in the festive periods. And this Christmas is no exception. There's also the New Year and then the Chinese New Year coming ahead!
Much of the time, when I see them in the ward, I feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. I just don't know how to help them. It would be too physically and emotionally taxing. So, I maintain a clinical distance. Sort out the physical damage done by the substances ingested (for example, panadol in excess of 10 tablet (5 gram) would damage the liver) and leave the psychology part to my fellow colleagues in psychiatry. I know they don't do much either. Much of the time, it a prescription for anti-depressant of some sort is given.
The physical is taken care of. The emotional may be palliated. The spiritual is ignored.
Do I feel for them? God knows I do. I quote the cliche phrase..."Been there, done that". Yes, I do. I understand the tremendous amount of pain and stress that must have driven them to the point where they want to end it all. I have felt that way before. I was "lucky". I have God. I have a brother who quietly sat with me in a car at a parking lot years ago while I poured out my anguish, despair and frustration. I had hit rock bottom.
A lot of people think these people are stupid to attempt to kill themselves. Religion says its a sin. Some times I feel that way too. Sometimes I just want to grab my patients by the arms and shake some senses into them! But until you have been there yourself, you will never understand the utter hopelessness that they feel.
God is good to me. I pray for my patients, may they also find hope in the midst of their despair. May they have some one who could sit there and listen and pray for them. Some one to weather the storm with them. Someone to tell them "it's okay, I am here for you, we will work this through this together". May they find God. After all, when you have hit rock bottom, the only way to go is UP!
posted by Jimbo @ 12/27/2005 11:47:00 AM
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