In My Father's Footsteps

Learning that there is much more to medicine than diagnosis and treatment.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Bed time story


I remembered a time not too long ago when my wife and I would take turns putting our then 2-3 year old girl to sleep. It usually starts with getting her to lie down on her bed and snuggling next to her. Next, she would break into a string of choruses, ranging from 'Twinkle2 little star' to some sunday school songs or some silly Barney songs she picked up from the purple dinosaur. Often I would take turns singing with her. The songs would be accompanied by actions. It was fun.

Of course I would read her the bed time story. She would choose the book and I will read it, usually in an as animated fashion as possible; complete with sound effects of various cars, animals, etc etc. Her books then were not so thick (she has now finished all the books on 'Narnia' on her own) and usually we are done in a few minutes.

Next, we would get on our knees and pray. Her prayers were simple: "Father God, please grant daddy, mummy and me a good night rest. Please take care of Ah Kung and Ah Ma (maternal side of the grandparents) and help Kung2 and Po2 to know Christ (my parents), Amen". Short and sweet. Mine would be more elaborate stretching from asking for blessings to settling the home/car loan etc etc (just kidding about the last part).

And then she would lie down again. I would get up to switch off the lights and we will say out "ooohs and ahhhhs" as we gazed up to the ceiling where I have stuck maybe a hundred 'glow in the dark' stars of all shapes and sizes. We would stare till the stars began to fade and she would say "stars going to sleep now". I would hug her, and give her a little peck on the forehead and say "Good night sweetie, I love you". She would give me a hug and a kiss in return. The little ritual would end with the phrase "Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite, I love you!".

It's been a while since I last did that. Some how in the course of the years, this little ritual got lost. Now I see her only on weekends (when I am not on call); most times I am too tired to put her to bed. And when I could, it was hurried. Prayers were said (if said at all) in a few short sentences. The hugs are still there, the kiss too though now she is now less inclined to give me a kiss. The singing has long stopped. The stars are fewer now (we moved her to another room and we didn't stick so many start on the ceiling).

I miss those days. I think I have paid a very heavy price with this Masters program. We all have. Now she is all grown up. She no longer thinks her daddy is superman or Einstein. Some of her behaviour is starting to worry us. MMed has taken their daddy away.

Lord, I just hope it's not too late when I am done with this course. My son is now 2+ and I still have not done with him what I did with his sister. Sigh!

I don't want to be the big bad wolf....

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